My Research

This is a post I have been putting off writing for far too long. But here goes....

I am currently just over 18 months in to my PhD research, for which I am considering feminist and womanist blogging, specifically what kind of feminist and womanist theory is being written about and developed in these blogs. I use the word theory, but I don't necessarily mean it in a purely academic sense; rather I mean theory at all levels, from the theories that we use to make sense of our every day lives to the grand theories of the academy. Georgia Gaden has suggested that the feminist blogosphere is the first place to direct people wanting to find out more about feminism, so I want to know what kinds of feminism and womanism are there out there? What is sayable and what absolutely not? And how does the presence of readers and commenters with unprecedented access to the blogger affect the way in which she chooses to write or what she chooses to write about? And, thus, how does the presence of the immediately interactive audience impact on the expressions of feminism and womanism that are available to an interested party?

That, in a rather long paragraph is my research. Needless to say it feels more complex and wooly at the moment than those few sentences would seem to betray, but I can see how my thinking is moving forward in this area. So why the anxiety about posting this? Well partly, it's protectiveness and insecurity about my academic work. If I blog about my ideas, maybe someone else will pick them up and publish before I am ready to (because obviously they are that good!). On the other hand, perhaps someone will leave a comment that trashes my work completely, and I am not sure if I could deal with that. And then I find the work of people like Ashley at Small Strokes and see both how great it is and how closely related it is to my work, and my anxiety does not get any smaller.

However, I have had enough of being that fearful, so here it is world: My Research.

Sometimes other people say it better

I think this warrants a 'Hell yeah!'

I will always expect more. It's the only way I know how to be.

H/T to the wonderful Shakesville

Working on it

As I've already mentioned, life got a bit complicated there for a while. Which is tricky enough generally, but since I am half way through my PhD, the timing was particularly sucky. Add in my ongoing issues with self-doubt and procrastination and the mix is not very positive.

But I'm working on it.

In so many ways.

So close and yet so far

Don't you jsut hate it when people that you otherwise have a lot of hope for get something so right and yet so very wrong at the same time?

My case in point for today is Nick Clegg and one particular statement from his otherwise respectable performance in last night's debate. To wit, his accusation that David Cameron is working with 'nutters, anti-Semites, people who deny climate change exists, homophobes' in Europe. It made my heart glad to hear Cameron called out over his alliances with homophobic bigots (amongst the many other questionable, if not outright disgusting alliances), but did Clegg really have to use the word 'nutter' like that? Could he not have found another word rather than thoughtlessly (hopefully) using words that people with mental health problems are punished with every day? Did he intend to conflate people with mental health problems with these unpleasant groups?

According to Beatrice Bray writing in the Guardian's Comment is Free, 'All three [party leaders] have signed a compact, drafted by the all-party parliamentary mental health group on the use of language', specifically about the thoughtless, inaccurate and pejorative use of language related to mental health.

Perhaps Nick Clegg should go back and review his copy.

Closer to Fine

You know how there are times in life when you can see just how precariously everything is balanced in your life and just how fragile it all is really?

Well, that's where I have been over the last couple of months. And it has been hard. Some of it I want to blog about in more detail, but need to check it out with others first, but for now I want to capture the feeling of resurgence and hope that I am currently filled with. Whilst nothing is fixed or sorted, I am nonetheless 'Closer to Fine' and that feels like a pretty damn good place to be.

There have been some tough times in the past, the kind that seems to generate lots of questions about just how I am managing to cope (and I have no doubt there will be many, many more such times in the future). In response, I keep coming back to the Indigo Girls track of the title and particularly the lines 'The best thing you ever done for me/ was to help me take my life less seriously./ It's only life after all'. Getting to that point in life where the worst has happened and you have survived anyway can be so incredibly freeing.

And that is definitely something to be revelled in.

So I want to share the joy of one of my favourite songs by one of my very favourite bands and because this is my blog and I can, I give you the Indigo Girls and 'Closer to Fine':

Warm fuzzies

So I haven't been keeping my blog up to date - what are you going to do about it?

But in the spirit of picking this thing up, dusting it down and holding it up to the cold light of day, I start with a small, micro-mini-postette. Baby steps and all that.

Tha thought for today is the warm fuzzies that follows an old friend you thought you had lost touch with forever getting in touch out of the blue.

That is all. Going off to continue being fuzzy. And warm.

Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh!

That is all.